I could of danced all night!

From my fair lady: I want you to watch this video first so you get the love in her eyes! Here

I just watched My Fair Lady! I LOVE this movie!! but it occurred to me how this whole situation (minus the happy ending) is so similar to how SOME men treat women. This woman is looking for something (much like a woman looking for a good man to love her) She wants to invest in her future by learning how to speak properly ( women want to find a husband to invest in their emotional future)

Then, she finds her man (so to speak) and she is taken in. she has a small since of security. Then after all the work she puts in (a short term when compared to the 5+ years some of us have invested) and then in the end she realizes that all the work was in vain and she meant nothing more to this man than a way to boost his ego and his self image. She learns that it was all for one thing... and while yes her reward was a better accent and the ability to be seen as normal in public. But, what she really wants is his love. He only wanted one thing and it's made clear after her purpose was served. Have we not all been in a similar situation?

I'm just saying... Why can't a man be more like a woman??

No SCRUBS!!!

There is the famous song by TLC called no scrubs... in case you have been under a rock or just need a refresher you can find it HERE


One of my best friends and I were sick of dudes, dating/ making out with/ liking ... etc, the wrongs.. We found it leads to heartache, frustrations, pain, frustrations ... wasted time.. frustrations... you get the point... So on one of are awesome insightful weekend visits (she lives in SA now so we don't get to hang all that much.. well compared to when we were roommates!) we decided it was time to make a list... and stick to it!!!

Here is our list
keep in mind this is just a foundation list we think every girl should demand from a guy... Being a Daughter of God we really don't think it's much to ask ... any additional personal requirements can be added later!

(we are hoping to turn it into a book someday ESP. For Mormon single chicks)

-Temple worthy (Preferably endowed or heading that way ... at the age around 30 the good guys tend to be)

-Motivated ( in career, fitness, church etc.. )

-Passionate (about anything at all... even if it's one thing... he needs to have at least one real passion) I think it's simple to say that if a guy hasn't found a passion in 30 years it's gonna be hard to get passionate about you... (not in the sex way but in the making you happy way)

-Unselfish ( a girl can tell this when making out or even just kissing... does he give or take?) if he puts you first its so much easier to put him first...

-This is a hard one... A guy that kisses you on the first date ... is too eager .. he wants your yumminess and hasn't put in the work yet. We aren't saying don't kiss back .. cause kissing is after all kinda fun!! wink wink... all we are saying is no more dates! STAY AWAY FROM THE EAGER BEAVERS!!! a relationship built on the physical will bring MANY MANY frustrations!!

Now on the flip side to that ... IF NO KISS AT ALL BY THE 5TH DATE!!! rrruuunnnn!!! I don't care if he is the biggest prude in the world if he doesn't kiss you by the 5th date (unless he has mono or a cold sore or something) Now if you have some thing about kissing not until engaged or something...well... that's your call ... I can tell you that both Erin and I agree that kissing a dude will tell you all you need to know about the physical aspect of your relationship so that's important!!


-He needs to also have done SOMETHING with his life!!... Worked (career type job) , served a mission, gone to school etc...

-He needs to know how to commit (enough said I think)

-He needs to not take the physical to a level where you are compromising your standards... if he is tempting you to do things that are against the standards of the church listen in the strength for youth (especially the 4th paragraph ... click see more)


There were other things but we can't remember them now... I'm not lecturing I just wanted to write these down before I forgot... and I figured if I made them public I may be held to them!!!

They aren't always easy to follow but we believe that buy following these general rules for looking for a husband then we will find a worthy mate... and by following these standards out self we will be worthy of that mate!!


Thats all I got and as always... feedback would be AWESOME!!!!!!

Closure

So in interior design class today W talked about different elements of design. One of the many is an element called "Closure" The Definition in design is "When something is missing but your eye will make it up"

Here is an image that represents what I'm talking about.



So see how you recognize the shape cause your eye fills in the blanks?

Okay so this got me thinking (anything to keep me entertained in the middle of a boring lecture) What is true closure? What is it that makes us finally connect those lines and close something off from the rest of our lives?

I'm not a closure kind of person. I would love to be but it's hard. I have seldom been able to connect those lines in my circles. I've tried many things...

-Think about all the bad stuff.
-come to grips on what I need to do.
-listen to all my friends advice.
-date other guys.
-destroy all evidence he ever existed in my life.
-write in my diary.

You name it I've done it. but yet... time after time I get my hopes up for a change this time... I Believe things are up... I bring back the DRAMA!!!! why why why??? How do you move on? In design your eye makes up the shape... So is there a way to get your heart to complete the relationship? To close it off for good?

Maybe there is no just one way maybe there is a thousand ways and you have to just try them all until one fits. Maybe every situation is different...

or maybe I have to just chill out...

Goodnight y'all

My song for this : Love the way you lie

In the world I live in and the people I associate with (especially the boys) I find truth so hard to come by. I’m not saying people always lie or that it’s their intention to deceive me but what I’m saying and I suppose it’s something I’m also guilty of… is .. why can’t people relay truth? Why can’t I find truth in a relationship. Its always games and hiding your true feelings. It’s always so difficult to be open with the person you love. Why can’t we just share our perceptions in terms of reality? Why, if I am in love, can I not just say “I love you” it’s the perception of how I feel so why is it so hard to say? Why is it so hard for us to say “I don’t see this going anywhere” It’s just your perception of reality. Are feeling that fragile that we have to live a life of games and reading hints and signs?

I don’t think married people realize how amazing they must have it to be able to come home at night and say I love you to the person you love and not have to worry about the reaction you will get. Is the difference between being married and single have to do with our ability to express openly our perceptions of reality?

Perhaps it is. Perhaps I would’t waist so much time with the wrong person because either they or I were too afraid to relay what we see. To be truthful.

I think this week is going to be my truth only week.. Not to say that I am a liar and am always lying but I am a little stingy on the truth at times in order to avoid uncomfortable situations. I think this week I will only relay my perceptions in terms of reality… I’ll Check back and let you know what I find.

I want to also add, in case anyone reads this for real, Brother Gallini’s class (Thur. Nights 7:30 at the institute building) is amazing. I get over institute quickly cause I have been attending for over 10 years now so I get bored with the same lessons over and over… (no offense to my amazing teachers of the past you guys really do rock!) but I’m finding Jared's class giving me new ways to look at things. It holds my interest so … I hope everyone can make it out to his class (single or married … under the age of 35) and see what I’m talking about!!!

Something Churchy!

Okay I think I need to be a little more religious... especially since my background is now all CTR and cute! :-)

I have a story to tell... It's a good one so read on!

So I was in church a few weeks ago. I was having a tough week, losing faith, feeling a little uncomfortable in my new ward. It was overall a tough few weeks.

I sat in a row just like any other for no real reason but that made all the difference. we had the pleasure of having a special musical number that week. I don't remember the song or the girls name but I remember seeing this scared young woman up on stage. So unsure about everything. She started singing this very high pitched song. She would get to the highest peaks and because of her lack in confidence she would lose her voice would crack. I noticed after wards she would smile and move on. after about 3 high cracked notes I noticed what was the cause for the smile. As she would approach her high note she would look into the croud where her father was sitting. She would look him in the eye and his unwavering attention would give her the confidence to keep going.

As the song went on I noticed two things. One, the girl started getting more and more confident and two, The kids sitting on the row with the father would try to break his attention, and he wouldn't budge.. he kept his eyes set on his daughter. Even when she was confident enough to not to need his gaze she still had his full attention. When she was unsure she only needed her fathers eyes and nod of encouragement and she could get through. By the end this girl was confident enough to make it through the high notes and the rest of the song.

At the risk of sounding like a sap... I think God put me in that pew for a reason. He knew I would see this and learn what I did. I learned that no matter if I have other people to look to for encouragement or not I will always have him. He is there with his undivided attention. I can always look for him in the crowd of life and he will be there, eyes set on me, ready to give me the smile and nod to get me through the high notes. He is there every day. In every thing I do. I know that no one in this world, no matter how much they love me will ever give me that kind of love. No one will always be ready to smile and nod at me in every struggle I have. I have the confidence to make it though my trials because Heavenly Father.

Here is a good song about the Love of a Father. Forever and Ever Amen

Love is like Sales!

Those who know me know that I look for patterns and things in my everyday life that I can relate to other parts of my life. This is my newest Theory . I think it works but let me know what you think!
From what I remember about my 5+ years of sales there are a few reasons to ever lose a sale.
So... What is crazy Julie talking about?? How does love have anything to do with sales??
I think that when you are dating you are faced with rejection wither it be because you stepped out on the line and got shot down or because you have a secret crush on someone that has no idea you exist.

It's easy for us to take that hit hard. We blame who we are. And while yes the product that is being sold is important and it's not the main reason for losing a sale. (or the love of your life) yea there is luxury in a newer model but the customer that is always looking to trade up will never be fully satisfied with what they have. They will always be seeking out the newer, hotter, sleeker models. So when you understand the objections you will understand how to approach the objections.

The second to the most common objection is cost. Now granted love doesn't ... or shouldn't... cost a dime but there are always other costs (more costly costs) when it comes to love. There is the cost of heartache, time, shared intimacy, Commitment, trust. The list goes on.
Just like in sales you can't tell others what they can and can't afford. The risk is too large for some people and that is the end of the story all you can do is give them the best discount you have. What I mean is you can lower the risk by showing through your friendship that you are a person they can trust and rely on. Just like a company builds rapport and trust with a customer.

So the top objection and most commonly found is a mis-understanding. This is the objection that has actually motivated this particular blog today. I was talking to this guy and said a few things off the cuff and later he told me that I sounded shallow. This is a guy who makes snap judgments very easily but there are many the same out there. Customers will call in to a call center and many of times I can make a sale and save them money by simply changing their package or bundling something. However those who don't want to try to understand or if there is a communication issue they will object to the savings because they will mis-understand what I am saying. When you meet someone and the communication or snap judgements have taken their imaginations to a place where they believe you are something you aren't you need to get to the bottom of it. If a customer rejects a sale before I have fully placed it, I will ask why? A call may go like this:

"No thank you I'm not interested"
"Oh, That's understandable but may I ask why you aren't interested?"
"Yea I just don't have the budget to add more services"
"Oh well what if I can actually save you 15.00 a month"
"Oh ... yea that would be awesome how would you do that?

And BAM.. I have the sale!!! (there is a reason why I was always the top sales person! ) but clearly no one is going to ask someone why they won’t date them but if you open your ears and hear what they are telling you and other people you can pick up on these understandings and nip it in the bud. It will be a shame if you don’t get Mr. Right because he thinks you are shallow when really you just get nervous talking to him therefore you pick easy subjects to talk about.

And finally there is Lack of need. This in the dating world would be the ones that are just not looking. If a customer can afford a product and understands fully what it does but is still not “that into it” there is little you can do. In this situation we always like to give 3 reasons why products will benefit a customer’s life. It’s a good idea to know a few reasons why that person would be better off picking you up off the shelf than picking up Buffy or big john. I’m not proposing that a person should say “look here is why you want me… “Well unless you can pull the whole cocky confident thing off… but what I’m saying is when you go out with someone or are around them, you can make sure these particular qualities shine through. If you anticipate a customer’s objection then you can overcome it before they say what they are concerned with.
So that is my theory.;.. I would love feedback if anyone actually reads this!
A few other tips that we learn are:
-Actively listen
. (listen for things you can use to prove that you are a worthy choice … ie things you have in common etc..)
-Open ended questions to determine need..
( this is another form of listening but by probing for more info about the person. If they tell a story ask questions about it be interested and remember those details for future sales… or convos)
-never budgets a clients checkbook
(don’t assume someone is out of your league, only they know what they are )

Here's a song that I think goes well!! "Love for sale"