Tuesday, November 30, 2010

My theme song today!
Where I Stood (Here)

I had a guy in my life. I really liked him. I think I even loved him. But the drama strangled out the good. The good fruit that our friendship/dating relationship-ish thing (that's how complicated it is I can't even define it) use to be has been strangled out by all the fights and lies and drama. I guess I always had a voice telling me to walk away but I couldn't because it was like a drug. Not just the time I spent with him, which was amazing, but the texting constantly and the boost to my self esteem that he gave me. It was all one huge addicting package! but the drama that happened over this Thanksgiving Holiday was pretty much the last straw. I realized that My energy needs to be spent on giving my whole heart to someone not defending myself in every little fight. I needed to walk away this time. It feels so much more amazing than it did before. I pray he is happy and life treats him kind. I still love him for who he is I just can't spend anymore love on him. I have nothing left to give. But I'm happy!! I pray he is too!!

Anyway that song (above) came on my Pandora and I was life DANG! this is my song!!! because part of my reason in leaving is to figure out who I am not in love with this man. Cause I have been in love with him for 5 years now. I need to find out who I am... YAY!! I'm really excited!!! wish me luck!