My entire life I have gathered stories.. I think we all have... the difference being that four all of my young adulthood gathering stories was my main objective. I took any oppertunity I came upon ... College.. check... 63 jobs ... check... moved countless times aroud the country ... check... I have done it all ... The only things I think I haven't done has been those that I didn't want to do .. or didn't have the money to do. I thought that was how to live life. Planning, and standing idolly by was for smucks... (I still think that to an extent) ... I didn't have any goals but to do everything and see everything... Then I got older and older ... I had this life full of amazing stories but the glazed over look in in my semi-close friends eyes show me that they don't really care and my really close friends already know all my stories cause they were there to be my accompises in most cases.
Then I got even older and now I feel like I am losing my stories... they don't matter to anyone except when I talk to my old best friends who relive them with me. Its sad to me that most people have no idea who I was 5 or 6 years ago. I feel like somewhere along the way I have lost my self.
I guess the song by Brandi Carlile says it best
All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
Sunday, April 17, 2011
Saturday, April 16, 2011
Break up with the World
Okay so... When I was in Utah I bought this Fireside on tape... It's called Break up With the World. Of course I knew it would be talking about worldliness and etc but it was really cute in the way the dude approached it. By the way the Guy's name is Hank Smith and you can buy the CD at Segull book (they have it for the cheapest) ... and just to make it easy for u cause it's sooooo good and I want everyone to have a copy just click here and it will take u to check out.
In the Fireside he talks about this girl who was in a class he taught. She knew she had something she needed to break up with that was poison in her life. It happened to be a tv show she was obsessed with. So she eventually decided to give it up and so she went home and talked to the show... She said "you have been a good show. We have had some good and bad times, but I have to break up with you... " And she turned it off and never went back.
Then two nights ago, for my birthday, We all went out to eat and one of my friends were talking about her therapy techniques. She was talking about this empty chair technique where they put someone in an empty chair (ie a father who abused a girl but is dead so she can't confront him) and make the person talk to that imaginary thing. I think that breaking up with both Human beings and objects can work if you just say it out loud. So I tried it... "Dr. Pepper" I said out loud... " I love you, You have been my up when I was down and m crutch when I couldn't keep my eyes open... You have outwardly been a foul weather friend... but inside you are tearing me apart. You are very bad for me and my body, you make me fat, you make me bloat, and are very possibly giving me an Ulster.. we have to break up Dr. Pepper"
Once I did this I wanted to break up with more things. All the things in my life that are poison. This includes a certain guy friend. I had to end out friendship because he is the biggest thing in my life that drives the spirit away from me the fastest. I have to walk away but not only end it but I knew this time I had to be like Helemens army and bury this sword deep in the earth so I cant just pull it out again when I want a date to the dance or someone to go to the fireman's festival in Buda with, Someone to listen to music laying down cuddling under the stars with... I have ended this relationship too many times in the past and I knew it was time to do the final goodbye and that it had to be a much bigger gesture than telling him I'm done. In the past all it takes is a text of sorry and we were back to square one.
So this time, I dropped the bomb... I first texted him and said we are done, blah blah blah ... and that if I get weak and try to text him to please not text me back. (he's pretty good about listening to my instructions so I'm pretty confident that will do the trick but in case not I black listed him from my phone and I called my phone company and blocked his number.
This is the only way I know how to completely bury that sword in the earth. I need to move on and let this stuff just be my past. plus no dude is gonna wanna get in the Julie business with all this luggage I carry. SO now I'm free and clear.. I think there are just a few more things I need to break up with but its gonna take some time...
I challenge you all, esp. if ur not gonna listen to the fireside, to take time and break up with ( and do it like a real break up) the things you need to leave out of ur life. I feel so much better now a days!
Here is a song that I am dedicating to all the things I am breaking up with..
Katharine Mcphee- Over it
In the Fireside he talks about this girl who was in a class he taught. She knew she had something she needed to break up with that was poison in her life. It happened to be a tv show she was obsessed with. So she eventually decided to give it up and so she went home and talked to the show... She said "you have been a good show. We have had some good and bad times, but I have to break up with you... " And she turned it off and never went back.
Then two nights ago, for my birthday, We all went out to eat and one of my friends were talking about her therapy techniques. She was talking about this empty chair technique where they put someone in an empty chair (ie a father who abused a girl but is dead so she can't confront him) and make the person talk to that imaginary thing. I think that breaking up with both Human beings and objects can work if you just say it out loud. So I tried it... "Dr. Pepper" I said out loud... " I love you, You have been my up when I was down and m crutch when I couldn't keep my eyes open... You have outwardly been a foul weather friend... but inside you are tearing me apart. You are very bad for me and my body, you make me fat, you make me bloat, and are very possibly giving me an Ulster.. we have to break up Dr. Pepper"
Once I did this I wanted to break up with more things. All the things in my life that are poison. This includes a certain guy friend. I had to end out friendship because he is the biggest thing in my life that drives the spirit away from me the fastest. I have to walk away but not only end it but I knew this time I had to be like Helemens army and bury this sword deep in the earth so I cant just pull it out again when I want a date to the dance or someone to go to the fireman's festival in Buda with, Someone to listen to music laying down cuddling under the stars with... I have ended this relationship too many times in the past and I knew it was time to do the final goodbye and that it had to be a much bigger gesture than telling him I'm done. In the past all it takes is a text of sorry and we were back to square one.
So this time, I dropped the bomb... I first texted him and said we are done, blah blah blah ... and that if I get weak and try to text him to please not text me back. (he's pretty good about listening to my instructions so I'm pretty confident that will do the trick but in case not I black listed him from my phone and I called my phone company and blocked his number.
This is the only way I know how to completely bury that sword in the earth. I need to move on and let this stuff just be my past. plus no dude is gonna wanna get in the Julie business with all this luggage I carry. SO now I'm free and clear.. I think there are just a few more things I need to break up with but its gonna take some time...
I challenge you all, esp. if ur not gonna listen to the fireside, to take time and break up with ( and do it like a real break up) the things you need to leave out of ur life. I feel so much better now a days!
Here is a song that I am dedicating to all the things I am breaking up with..
Katharine Mcphee- Over it
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